I haven’t written about you in a while. Please forgive me. While I have kept up my training, I’ve been too busy to give you the platform on here equivalent to the platform you have given me.
Somedays I cannot see you. You ask so much of me that when I am feeling dark with despair, I will avoid you, in avoiding you, I avoid the darkness boiling within me.
You pull out the darkest secrets I keep buried in my soul. You slam them in my face like you slam into the crease of my hips, over, and over, and over again. You throw yourself up against me, pushing me to force myself up against you. I win. Sometimes you overpower me and I succumb to your monstrous strength.
Still I can not leave you for long, 2 consecutive days, max. I hate you and then I leave you and realize how much I love you. I come back to you, and you welcome me with your familiar touch. familiar sounds. I love you and you love me back. When I am in this place of love with you, we are working together, effortlessly bringing more and more weight up, faster and faster. But you haven’t given me this recently. I have been bashing my weight against you, and you are showing me your strength, your anger at me for not having given you my fullest heart, my deepest attention.
Welcome, to my twisted dark fantasy.